Things to remember about your New Year’s Resolution

January is shit. Most of us have been a little chubby for the whole of last year and drank so much that we question if it’s binge-drinking or pending alcoholism. And suddenly at this time of the month we’re supposed to be very aware.

There’s a few things to bare in mind when you’re setting yourself a new year’s resolution and if you haven’t got one, you’re already fabulous so it’s all about maintenance.

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One bowl of muesli and a smile to a bitch you hate doesn’t reform you into a whole new human. Make your resolutions worthwhile, something you’ll be determined to drive forward, not one week of temporary good deeds.

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Don’t make your new year’s resolution everyone else’s too. There’s nothing more bloody annoying than people who take you on their diet too. Sorry mate but you paid your Slimming World subscription for ONE person, let me eat this block of cheese in peace and you continue with your own plans.

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But don’t let anyone make you feel bad about having a resolution. HAHA wow you’re so pathetic for wanting to be a better person!! There’s really nothing wrong with wanting to be less of a dick, so if you’re a dick, roll on those new year’s resolutions and be proud of the changes you’re making. If you have goals then go for it, hopefully your resolution will involve mentally (not physically) blocking out those people who tell you that your resolution is silly, no they are silly.

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Don’t tell yourself you’re going to lose ten stone, cure a disease and repaint all of your neighbour’s fences for them. Because you won’t. Then you’ll just feel riddled with guilt and anxiety because you didn’t complete your own ridiculous tasks. When setting your goals be realistic or you’ll end up feeling worse.

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Maybe you want to start making more effort with your appearance. But what if that birds nest you call your hair is all apart of your quirky persona? Maybe you want to stop talking so loudly but what if you have cool shit to say? Sometimes it’s all about altering perspective, not changing the way you are. A new year is a chance to do better and be better but don’t completely change yourself. The things you’re so desperate to change may just be the very thing that makes you, you.

Your resolution can be whatever you want it to be. It’s not all about diets, being kind and scrolling less on your  phone. They are are personal goals.  Maybe you want to get really fat and save some money on winter-wear, you eat all the carbs darling. If you want to drink MORE then do it, make your dry January full of dry gin my friend.

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It’s actually OKAY if you fail a new year’s resolution. No one will beat you to death for having a drunken cigarette when you’re supposed to be giving up. It’s all about steady progress and you’re doing the best you can, don’t be so hard on yourself. And anyone that turns their nose up is probably failing their resolution too, so ha.

Good luck, be kind and non-judgemental whether you’re opting for the resolution or not.

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