How to survive a festival

Festival season is already somewhat underway but this weekend Secret Garden Party takes place followed by other festivals including: including Reading & LeedsSundown, Bestival and too much more that our sorry bank accounts cannot afford. But if you’re planning to set off to a festival, you must keep the below in mind and you’ll have a smashing time.

Festivals are great fun (but beware they can stain your hair from the above fun)

Embrace that you are disgusting. Throughout the course of the weekend you will be dancing, singing, drinking and not showering. It’ll be muddy and so will you. You will just smell, your hair has now become one and your feet are now able to camouflage into the soil. The sooner you accept the fact you are disgusting, the sooner you will not care and you’ll have an even better time.

Taking your make-up off and brushing your hair is not overrated though

Embrace that everyone else is disgusting. There will and always is someone more disgusting than you, you will see some vile humans, doing vile things – and smelling, like your good self. But do not judge these people, admire how wonderful and ‘different’ –make of that what you will- everyone is.

Secret Garden Party, 2015, may have made more money from selling wellies than the festival itself

Do not underestimate the power of a onesie. Sure, onesies were a hit not so long ago and we cringed when people would actually wear them out – this was never and still is not okay. The nights get cold and getting into different several items of clothing to cover all skin is a pain. Onesies are bliss in a cold and small tent at night – but whip them off straight away in the morning because you will sweat and smell, again.

Onesies can also double-up as protective wear if you fancy a strange non-musical activity

Don’t bring much food, everyone always overdoes it with the food, breakfast bars coming out of every side pocket in the bag. All you need is a decent jumbo pack of crisps, water bottles, and a large pack of another flavoured drink. Oh and a ‘bit’ of alcohol, only if it’s not prohibited of course…

Pack LIGHTLY, unless you are a body builder capable of any weight
Besides, the food stalls there are usually great anyway










Take pictures on different days. Do not be one of those twats that replaces their face with a camera 24/7 but also don’t be the person who panics and takes all the pictures on one day – you also end up looking like you wore the same thing for the whole weekend. Spread it out, take pictures of your favourite acts, good scenery, camp mates and all the little memories.

Do what you want to do and see who you want to see. Festivals can be expensive, so do NOT miss the acts you most want to see, even if this means going it alone.

Even if that thing you want to do happens to be competing in a large game  of Hungry Hippo, it’s better than seeing a band you don’t care about

Plan all your outfits to avoid leaving the festival with a hunched back and becoming a moaning Myrtle over the weight of your bag.It makes it much easier deciding what to wear each day too but make sure you have some back-up outfits for those cold and rainy days. BRING WELLIES, YOU WILL NEED THEM! And long socks unless you quite like the look of red rings round your legs.

Pig outfits and crowns all go into that vital outfit planning process, do not forget these essential items

Bring hand sanitiser, there are germs everywhere, people included and the toilets are beyond vile. Hand sanitiser will probably stop you from becoming diseased and it’s handy too if you have a cut that you don’t want to get infected.

Muddy floors and questionable make-up, hand sanitiser is the least you can treat yourselves to

Glitter doesn’t stop diseases but it makes you sparkly which is just as important. Wear all the glitter on your face, glitter is not frowned upon at festivals, it is celebrated. But don’t overdo it or you may find glitter in your ear holes for the next few months. And of course fully embrace festival fashion, this is your time to wear ridiculous outfits to match your ridiculous glittery face.

THIS is overdoing it.

So, remember just become the glittery smell you’ve always been and have the best time.

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