Wearing glasses can be incredibly irritating but they stop us partially sighted ones from walking into walls and accidentally scowling at every human walking our way, so we ought to be thankful too.
If you wear glasses then the list below will be incredibly familiar and if you don’t maybe familiarise yourselves so you’re not as much of a hindrance as a scratch on our lenses.
1. Why do people always want to try them on? This never stops, it’s pretty strong in primary school but people STILL do it when you get older. Do I look like Mr Potato-Head? Nope, these are not removable accessories, BACK OFF.
2. The weak-sighted get irrationally annoyed by people wearing glasses as accessories. There are people in this world that wear glasses with no prescribed lens but for fashion instead. It’s flattering, I guess. But we have no choice, so it’s weirdly annoying for people to actually want to wear them purely to look good. Here…have my faulty eyes to give your fashion a real purpose!
3. We are NOT giving you a dirty look. In the absence of wearing no/the wrong glasses, emerges the bitch-face. You look at everyone like they said the most ridiculous thing. For all you beautifully sighted people, it is not a dirty look, it is a squint – unless you’re wearing glasses for fashion, then it is a dirty look.
4. There’s nothing sexier than arriving inside from the cold and having your glasses steam up. Wow, now I can’t even see with my glasses on and I look like a twat, cute.
5. There’s something so exciting about getting new glasses. Fresh case, fresh little cleaner and then obviously the pair you spent ages picking. But how come when you first picked them you looked beautiful then when you actually start wearing them you look like an absolute dork? Why on earth did I choose these, fool.
6. If you’re not wearing your glasses, you’re looking for them. As something you wear most of the time it is annoyingly common to lose them. And it’s even more awkward because you can’t bloody see to actually find them.
7. As soon as you put them on you feel like your IQ has been automatically raised by 50%. If you look smart, you feel smart. This usually ends when any test of intelligence is present but it’s nice while it lasts.
8. In a room full of people, two partially sighted people will meet and almost at the same time they slowly and romantically ask “how bad is your eye sight?” I don’t know why but it just happens and you giggle away happily at who has the most shocking prescription.
9. Often bad eye-sight leads to really bad visionary judgement. The amount of times you think you’ve spotted a looker, they come closer and you realise they’re double your age and look unwashed…It happens more than you’d think. Oh and waving at people that aren’t waving at you, not recognising your own family from a distance, the list really does go on and it’s all very awkward.
10. Not only are the four-eyed curious about your inability to see but the two-eyed are even more fascinated. They all turn into opticians. Can you see that? What about that over there? OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO BLIND, CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT? How many fingers am I holding up?
11. My sight is blurred, my brain isn’t damaged, FYI.