Sufferers of why-did-I-do-that syndrome will completely understand the agonising pain in your heart the day after a night out.
Occasionally, in the morning the toilet acts like a prominent hat as you throw up the contents of your stomach and hopefully a McDonalds, if you were lucky. Staring at yourself in that toilet water and you begin to think my mother held me in her womb for nine months and here I am, I’ll make you proud another day, sorry Mum.
BUT this way of thinking is not healthy, it dampens what probably was a bloody brilliant night and in all fairness if your Mum is a bit of a #lad, she will think it’s quite funny.
So, here are some tips on how to deal with yourself when you’re worrying about the night before:
“Omg you were so funny last night,” this is the kind of text that just sky rockets anxiety and you think of all the things you may have said to embarrass yourself- and even then the worst thing you said you’re probably unaware of. But realistically this is a compliment, your hilarity amused someone and made part of their night, so why would you let that ruin your day? You’re literally worrying about being funny, never apologise for a good bit of banter a wise woman once said (me).
Scrolls through texts and wants to shoot oneself. All in all, unless you’re texting your friend ‘you arw acthually my bestjfreind xxxx’, drunk texting is a bad idea. But 9/10 times you said something that you needed to but just didn’t have the courage for it. Definitely not the best method, so try and use that courage in a sober situation so you can actually make sense of it all and read what you/ they’re saying. And again DO NOT WORRY, humans make mistakes. So what you sent a text you shouldn’t have, you’re not going to die –unless you’re texting an actual murderer- and the other person may even be flattered that they’re on your mind five vodka and lemonades in, you are welcome unsuspecting recipient.
Checks social media and wonders what purpose you serve.
Social media has brought many a strange release of all the bizarre thoughts in your mind. And after a Jäger bomb your thoughts are a bit odd and so are you but that’s what make you, you. And if that’s odd then you rock that oddness with every bone in your body. But again, the answer to the majority of the post-night-out anxiety problems is ‘it was funny’. If you’re not being malicious (don’t go writing that someone’s picture isn’t actually )
then be happy that even with toxic liquids in your body, you’re hilarious with good intentions. You’re probably amusing someone on the sofa somewhere whilst they’re watching Netflix.
“Worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum” – Mary Schmich
Admittedly, chewing gum will see the same progress as a calculator when me and maths are involved but Mary Schmich is absolutely right here. Worrying doesn’t achieve anything, it just creates sadness.
Worrying about things that have already happened is very self destructive. Think about all the good decisions you’ve made and know that you’re a part-time twat, not a full-time twat.
Look after your mind and regret nothing.